Equi Rerelease Changes, Vol. 2

We are officially up and running on manuscript changes. Oh boy. I'm sitting here looking at this document and wondering what exactly I've gotten myself into. Prepare for a very long-winded list of everything that's different in the first arc! (Which by the way, has been changed from "Slopestyle" to "Freerider.") 

• First big change of the story: Cylestra is now someone who has an aptitude for downhill snowboarding, but never pursues anything more than that because she values the solitude of it too much. Slopestyle isn't something that you just... do by yourself on an abandoned course that the resort somehow continues to operate with no maintenance or oversight. Equi is a fantasy story, but immediately starting off with this very unrealistic scenario kind of messes up the suspension of disbelief in a way I don't like. 

• I'm making Alyssa more of a social butterfly/very extroverted person rather than basing her entire personality on being boy-crazy. She's a romantic and there's nothing wrong with that, but I also don't want the early scenes with her and Cylestra to completely revolve around dating. 

• Cylestra's eyes don't change color. This has to do with some worldbuilding on faerie eye colors corresponding with their auras that will come in later. (I also didn't want it to be quite so obvious that I wrote the first version of this story when I was fifteen, lol.)

• Alexander is a lot more awkward during his initial interactions with Cylestra. I mean let's be real, he's not cool and mysterious, he's a dingus who wants to be cool and mysterious. Also, the pulling sensation between faeries that happens in Disso is introduced when he and Cylestra meet. I wanted there to be a more concrete, tangible reason for Cylestra to be drawn to Alexander other than just getting a vibe from him. She knows, from the beginning and long before she sees his wings, that he's connected in some way to her identity and her past. 

• There's also more time spent on the fact that Cylestra and Joseph have made several attempts to figure out where she's from, to no avail. 

• Cylestra's nightmare is no longer about being chased by wolves. She has no narrative reason to fear wolves. You know what an off-piste snowboarder would fear? An avalanche. 

• Cylestra doesn't ride with Jason and Trevor to the winter formal. She detests Jason, she would never agree to catch a ride with him. Actually, I ended up changing Jason's reputation in general: he's tolerated at best, and Alyssa doesn't pressure Cylestra to accept his advances.

• That scene, the one behind the school during the dance. This one was hard for me to approach because on one hand, the scene was based on a real experience and I feel like it's important for me to include and not shy away from just because it's uncomfortable... but I also don't want it to just be kind of tossed in there, only serving as a reason for Cylestra to trust Alexander. So I'm trying to keep it largely the same, but adjusting some things: building up the interaction by including more previous instances of Jason not respecting boundaries, changing some of the dialogue and description to be more representative of how these things happen in real life, and giving magic more of a role. Cylestra doesn't get closer to Alexander because he swooped in and saved her, it's because she sees him use magic and recognizes it. The trust between them starts here, absolutely, but it needs more time to build throughout the first arc of the story. 

• With more people milling around the area by the lift, obviously the location of Alexander's wing reveal needs to change to somewhere more private... and he needs to do it in a less conspicuous way than just yanking his shirt off. So now he meets her in the parking lot, kind of shielded between her car and a drift of plowed snow, and just briefly pops his wings out through holes in the back of his shirt. 

• The aftermath of the dance focuses more on Cylestra unhealthily trying to bury her feelings while her loved ones do their best to discourage this. And instead of talking to the police, she simply reports Jason to the school administration, which initially doesn't go anywhere. These situations don't have neat, tidy endings in which justice is served quickly and the victim magically recovers. It will take a while for Jason to be held accountable, and it will take Cylestra a while to realize that she can't just erase it from her mind. 

• Alexander is staying with Raj, and Cylestra teaches him to ride so that he can continue his façade of being a broke but passionate snowboarder. He still sucks at it, though. 

• Magic is now powered by the energy from a faerie's aura, and there's a whole bunch of new worldbuilding in terms of waiting for auras to "recharge" from the atmospheric energy in Csenfeisna and spells requiring different amounts of energy. But most importantly, aural energy can't be reabsorbed while on Earth. So every time Alexander casts magic, he's losing his aura. 

• The time-dilation-going-both-ways thing was too difficult to work with, so it's out. One day on Earth is about two days in Csenfeisna; Cylestra tells everyone that she's at a snowboarding retreat when she leaves with Alexander, giving her two weeks on Earth/one month in Csenfeisna to accomplish what she needs to.  

• Oh man, so the lore around Alexander's arrival is completely different, and a lot of it comes in later. The Council is not declaring war on Earth, Alexander isn't being drafted into the military, and he doesn't come to Earth with the intention of asking Cylestra for help. Instead, the Council summons anyone who asks too many questions or messes around too much with magic, and all anyone knows is that faeries who are summoned by the Council are never seen again. Alexander is summoned by the Council shortly before he stumbles into Cylestra's life. He ignores the summons and continues dinking around with aural energy, leading him to end up on Earth by accident. While telling her about his world and being a faerie, he mentions the Council situation. Cylestra is the one who comes up with the idea of crafting a rescue story to tell the Council and asking to go back with him. (This is all explained a lot more eloquently in the book, I swear.)

• Cylestra also has her own motivation for going to Csenfeisna outside of helping Alexander: fear that even if Alexander never mentions Earth during his summons, the Council will be able to trace his arrival in her world and find her there. Now that the door is open for her to be discovered not by humans but by her own kind, she feels compelled to protect her family and loved ones. 

• I added a scene where Alyssa has a direct interaction with Alexander while out for drinks with Cylestra. She's still a little wary of him, but accepts his place in Cylestra's life, even if she doesn't know the full extent of it yet. It's also a reality check for Cylestra that she can't sustain this hidden friendship with Alexander (and with it, her double identity and involvement with Csenfeisna) forever. 

• The process of going back to Csenfeisna with Alexander is much more thought-out this time. They both plan and prepare for it in advance, including teaching Cylestra to fly and starting the basics of using magic. The process of world transport also doesn't involve just... falling out of the air. It's all much calmer and more consistent. 

• Last but not least, Alexander using his infamous catchphrase happens for the first time before they leave Earth, signaling the start of his feelings for Cylestra. 

So yeah this is... a lot larger of a project that I thought it was going to be. But it's coming together and I'm having a blast!